Rethinking Our Classroom

Another assignment from ROC:

A part of me wonders why I want to be an educator. Throughout my life I have contemplated a multitude of career possibilities. Depending on my age I have considered or wanted to be everything from an astronaut, zoologist, computer technician, and the president of the United States. The only career that has been an idea consistently is teaching. When I was a child I wanted to educate so that I could emulate the positive role models I had in my life as well as never be like the negative ones. As a teen I wanted to teach because of experiences I had with children of various physical and mental disabilities. Entering college I chose education as my competence because I wanted to better and change the world. Now still in college though the passion is still strong, I don’t know precise reasons why and contemplate how my story, my life, has shaped the desire and call to teach.
I was born white. That is to say I was born with what the world views as white skin. I was also born in a rather poor section of Memphis, Tennessee meaning that my world, both in my house and surroundings, was a mix of races and socioeconomic statuses. I was brought up to see these differences in a positive way. My mother’s side of the family, the family I was raised by, is rather racially, socioeconomically, and otherwise diverse. I can’t recall ever having serious discussions about how people identify differently or how the world can be oppressive to some and make others privileged so despite my diverse family I feel that I was raised to see the world rather naively and idealistically. I also grew up in a single parent household. Because that parent was of my same sex and gender I learned to be a strong, independent, and very proud girl. This along with my low socioeconomic status and physical make-up made me a target for bullying, discrimination, and oppression. All of which I still experience today though rarely as extreme or as painful as it was before I knew what to call it.
I’m not sure how this influences my role as an educator, but I am learning to see my life’s story as a creation of biases that I need to address before entering into a classroom. For example, because I was taught to be a strong, independent woman I sometimes see little girls who act more feminine as a product of a societal mishap and therefore I resonate more with “tomboys” or others that I see myself in. In this same category I often find myself easily ready to comment or reprimand young boys who are rougher and praise quiet or intellectual boys. In my own life I have a lot of issues and questions surrounding gendered roles and stereotypes so I almost feel that it is my duty to address these in young children. It is true that gendered roles begin at an early age, but I feel that I don’t have the tools to address these in a positive way that won’t shut-down a growing child. Secondly, I was raised and still claim Catholicism as my faith belief. Though, in many ways I go against the Catholic norm, I feel that Christianity can be a powerful system of oppression against differing religions. I don’t know how to address these factors when our nation is in many ways built around Christianity. The school calendar in itself is built around many Christian holidays. How do I as an individual teacher address that one issue out of many? How do I address any one issue out of the many?
It is naïve to think that my life story won’t affect my teaching or the students that I will encounter. The truth is that everyone’s life story shapes them into an individual educator, and that remaining neutral or attempting to mask your biases is a facade that can do much more harm than good. I hope that through open dialogue and a strong sense of community built into my classroom I will cultivate students who think critically and learn to not only appreciate and tolerate but also celebrate diversity. Because I was bullied and rarely had an adult at school to report this too I hope to be the educator that a student feels comfortable enough to approach. I would hope that I would deal with the situation taking both sides into account. From my own experiences I have noticed that the bully is often simply punished and labeled as “bad”. Rarely does an educator look into the story behind the mean or violent behavior. The likely case is that the bully needs as much if not more attention than the bullied. I know my bullies did.
I would like to be a part of a classroom that doesn’t always view the world through the typical “western” lens. I hope that when I am ready to be an educator I will find a job that allows me to cultivate critical thinkers by introducing different perspectives in my classroom. I would hope to model openness to researching many different possibilities and then deciding what is right for me. By modeling this willingness to learn through others’ perspectives I would wish that my students would develop this desire too and that we may collectively grow in our awareness as well as break down built paradigms within our community. Overall, I desire a community that challenges each member to be a better person by seriously and deeply learning about the world around us.
As a future educator I’m determined to continue to find the tools that will help me address biases and discrimination in the classroom. I fear the inevitable day that I naively make a mistake or comment that hurts a child. I know that mistakes will be made, but I pray I have the knowledge and tools to address them when they happen. I also pray that I continue to address biases with in my own life so that I can continue to grow and learn how to better connect and equitably teach all the students I will encounter.

Popular Posts