Fear
I am afraid.
I am afraid of going home.
I am afraid of staying in place.
I fear that when I go home I will not keep all the promises I've made to myself.
I fear that I'll fall back into old habits, they die hard ya' know.
I don't want to go home, but I definitely don't want to stay- I'd drive myself crazy bored.
I never knew how close I grew to my friends and roommates here in Presskit.
I'm lonely now.
And I know that as soon as I am home I will see some old, comforting, familiar faces and be just fine, but right now I'm just kind of sad.
And afraid...
Afraid of horrible eating habits and not working out.
Afraid of gaining all the weight and self doubt back- literally putting it all back on my body and mind.
Ugh...
But I also envision a realistic vision of doing it right and making it work, loving myself, and working out... and you should know that REALISTIC visions are new for me, so this is a step in the right direction.
I am afraid of going home.
I am afraid of staying in place.
I fear that when I go home I will not keep all the promises I've made to myself.
I fear that I'll fall back into old habits, they die hard ya' know.
I don't want to go home, but I definitely don't want to stay- I'd drive myself crazy bored.
I never knew how close I grew to my friends and roommates here in Presskit.
I'm lonely now.
And I know that as soon as I am home I will see some old, comforting, familiar faces and be just fine, but right now I'm just kind of sad.
And afraid...
Afraid of horrible eating habits and not working out.
Afraid of gaining all the weight and self doubt back- literally putting it all back on my body and mind.
Ugh...
But I also envision a realistic vision of doing it right and making it work, loving myself, and working out... and you should know that REALISTIC visions are new for me, so this is a step in the right direction.