Are you happy?
H-A-P-P-Y
Finding happiness with myself and in my life is something that I feel I am always contemplating. I'm not sure where my random periods of depression come from or why I sometimes set such high expectations for my level of happiness. Ever since I could remember I have always compared myself to others, thrived on attention (sometimes even making up things in order to receive it), and never really quite felt like I was good enough. Have you ever met a child that when around other children ALWAYS has a better the story that was just told? Well, that was me. If you'd been in a wreck I had been in a more horrific one. If you owned two dogs I had three. Whether true or not, I had to be better than you were. I never bullied or had to put you down, but I HAD to put me up. And now? I find myself sometimes continuing this viscous cycle, but mostly I've found other ways to improve my self esteem.
Lately I've been spending my days riding my bike to and from work--- Work being playing, water balloon making, mending boo-boos and hurt feelings, kickball, dodge ball, Frisbee, basketball, poster making, teaching outdoor cooking and fire building, listening, singing songs, playing "chubby bunny", setting up field days, and laughing.
And, I can honestly say, I'm happy.
Finding happiness with myself and in my life is something that I feel I am always contemplating. I'm not sure where my random periods of depression come from or why I sometimes set such high expectations for my level of happiness. Ever since I could remember I have always compared myself to others, thrived on attention (sometimes even making up things in order to receive it), and never really quite felt like I was good enough. Have you ever met a child that when around other children ALWAYS has a better the story that was just told? Well, that was me. If you'd been in a wreck I had been in a more horrific one. If you owned two dogs I had three. Whether true or not, I had to be better than you were. I never bullied or had to put you down, but I HAD to put me up. And now? I find myself sometimes continuing this viscous cycle, but mostly I've found other ways to improve my self esteem.
Lately I've been spending my days riding my bike to and from work--- Work being playing, water balloon making, mending boo-boos and hurt feelings, kickball, dodge ball, Frisbee, basketball, poster making, teaching outdoor cooking and fire building, listening, singing songs, playing "chubby bunny", setting up field days, and laughing.
And, I can honestly say, I'm happy.