Journal 3 for Rethinking Our Classroom: Race, Power and Identity in Education
The readings for today’s class really intrigued me, got me thinking, and helped me relate to a recent experience I had. A week or so ago I was walking around my neighborhood at about dusk when a man driving towards me rolled down his window, smiled, and waved. Immediately I tensed up and the hair stood on the back of my neck. Being so close to my home I slowed my pace hoping that by the time I turned into my house he would be at a distance that even in his rear-view mirror he wouldn’t be able to tell which house was mine. I also simply raised my hand and possibly half-smiled praying that this would be the end of our encounter. This time it was. I have received a welcoming gesture from this same man before and ignored it or simply nodded, but also have had this same reaction internally.
Once I got to my home and closed the door I started thinking about why I had reacted this way. First, I reasoned that being a woman I was taught and still feel the need to protect myself from all strangers, especially strange males. Second, though it is uncomfortable to admit- this particular man was an “other” in the categories of race and age. Had he been a “white” male of near my age I would have still not enjoyed the attention but may have seen the interaction much differently. Lastly, I do not know this man personally so I question his intention in purposely rolling down his window to communicate with me in some way now on multiple occasions. I haven’t decided that my reaction should be different or why/ why not, but taking notice of my reaction is at least a step in progression. It was odd to admit to myself that I felt vulnerable, spotlighted, and “crept out.”
I made a correlation between this interaction and our latest readings because I have voiced my opinion about the privilege of men, but I have never really contemplated my own privilege by not being a woman “of color”. After contemplating why I had reacted the way I did I thought about how women of “other” racial groups may not only feel uncomfortable when in encountering a man, but also when encountering anyone outside of their specific race. Furthermore, how as an educator would I approach parents and students who may feel “othered” by me? Again, I am having a hard time coming up with adequate answers to these daunting questions, but for now I am just allowing myself to question without expectation of brilliant ideas.
Once I got to my home and closed the door I started thinking about why I had reacted this way. First, I reasoned that being a woman I was taught and still feel the need to protect myself from all strangers, especially strange males. Second, though it is uncomfortable to admit- this particular man was an “other” in the categories of race and age. Had he been a “white” male of near my age I would have still not enjoyed the attention but may have seen the interaction much differently. Lastly, I do not know this man personally so I question his intention in purposely rolling down his window to communicate with me in some way now on multiple occasions. I haven’t decided that my reaction should be different or why/ why not, but taking notice of my reaction is at least a step in progression. It was odd to admit to myself that I felt vulnerable, spotlighted, and “crept out.”
I made a correlation between this interaction and our latest readings because I have voiced my opinion about the privilege of men, but I have never really contemplated my own privilege by not being a woman “of color”. After contemplating why I had reacted the way I did I thought about how women of “other” racial groups may not only feel uncomfortable when in encountering a man, but also when encountering anyone outside of their specific race. Furthermore, how as an educator would I approach parents and students who may feel “othered” by me? Again, I am having a hard time coming up with adequate answers to these daunting questions, but for now I am just allowing myself to question without expectation of brilliant ideas.